I have a neighborhood friend who scuba dives regularly and she’s been prodding me to get certified so I can join her and her dive friends on their yearly summer trip to Bonaire.
It sounds like a lovely idea. I love the Caribbean waters. I think coral reefs are gorgeous. Island time is my favorite time.
But, honestly, I’m not sure I’m that interested in scuba diving. Or if I even want to travel/vacation without my nuclear family.
There was a time in my early 30’s where I thought all adventure & epic experiences were worthy of my expense and time. I was passionate about the idea of adding another bullet point to my list of things I’ve tried or seen. That list meant a whole lot to me back then. It made my life more full.
But, now? That passion is gone. Or fractured. Or re-oriented, maybe?
Because, I DO have passion. But, it’s to figure my kids out. It’s to make our house and home better. It’s to guard and protect and speak into what gets through. It’s to give my kids the experiences I didn’t have early and stumbled onto late. It’s to encourage and challenge, coach and console. It’s to know them and love them and be a safe and wise space for them to land and bounce against.
They ARE my bullet list. For now, at least.
BUT, fear not, I have NOT stopped my pursuit of other things that engage and enliven me. It’s just that those things are often done with kids in tow, alongside, or around the corner. I take 5 minutes to try soft pastels for the first time. We started a butterfly garden and raised caterpillars and I found my curiosity and awe reflected in theirs. I walk on the treadmill (yup, still on that mission to become a runner again) while they learn to be bored by sitting in the same room for quiet time …
So, maybe scuba diving isn’t it right now. And, yes, my 30-year-old self would have said differently. But this 45-year-old is content with less. Because … it’s more.
(Still, gonna try to get the girls to snorkel this year!)